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now that Trump is president, paranoid about homophobic laws that… - marfan's syndrome
"labels disable."

date of incident: 2017-01-20 19:59
crime: (no subject)
protection Public
hideoutrite aid bathroom
now that Trump is president, paranoid about homophobic laws that Trump discussed.

grateful where i live now is much less homophobic and much more democratic than where i lived in undergrad.


a stampede of wild teenagers were cariacaturizing my gait (walk). made me uptight, wondering which other dicklets see me the way they did. likewise they just saw me when i walked past. they did not even interact with me. (rolls eyes). shit. feel so fucking ashamed and shit. like there's something wrong with me.


as stopped up as usual. @ least 3x this year alone, took over 2 hours feces. strained.

"they take hours to shit! if you can't shit, get off!", some idiot from Food Maxx barked @ me. he slammed the door of the other stall. @ least four of them were waiting for me in the doorway. the mens bathroom contained 2 toilets and 1 urinal. @ the time those rat bastards knocked me out, the other toilet was empty.

that is so fucking inconvenient.
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bully: gushgush
date of incident: 2017-01-21 05:17 (UTC)
crime: (no subject)
Flax seed, about 1/2 cup, ground daily and drunk in my morning coffee -with a tall glass of water afterwards- has made all the difference in the world as far as constipation and regularity. Try less than the 1/2 cup at first, maybe 1/4 or 1/8, until you get used to it.
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bully: marfan
date of incident: 2017-01-28 04:17 (UTC)
crime: (no subject)
saturday, sunday, monday, tuesday, wednesday took laxatives. bottle says do not take longer than one week w/out doctors notice. so took today and yesterday off.

since then, 2-3 bowel movements daily. 50 to 70 minutes each. strained. some rocks. some log.

which is pretty much how it was before saturday.

in other words, with laxatives, same as without laxatives. thus far, no noticed good or bad side effects.

paranoid about:

colon cancer
ulcerative colitis
celiac disease
anal fissures

but what the flying fuck ever.

what if i have them, then what?

what difference does it make?

(rolls eyes).


down to 105.7 pounds. pretty good. summer between seventh and eight grades, went from 100 to 108 pounds. so weigh less than @ age 14 and six months. now that i am 33 years old.


except, of course, measurements much larger than cisgender females my sex/age/height/weight/race.

but what the flying fuck ever shit.

uptight about osteoporosis.


likewise exhausted all the fucking time.

physically and mentally

do not even feel energetic enough to talk

just feel like lying on ground all fucking day long


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bully: gushgush
date of incident: 2017-01-28 17:55 (UTC)
crime: (no subject)
Most laxatives are a sort of "chemical" solution to the problem, which often lead to a dependence upon the chemical to have normal BM's. Flax and other high-fiber treatments are more of a "mechanical" solution. The fiber sort of pushes out what's inside by adding bulk to the stool. Also, if you're not eating very much (as indicated by your comment about your low weight) there will be nothing, no bulk, to push out what's inside and thereby leading to your straining-to-poop situation.
Also important is the amount of fluids in the intestinal tract. If everything is dried up, it won't move.
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bully: marfan
date of incident: 2017-02-07 02:43 (UTC)
crime: nordstrom
okay. the bottle of laxatives cost 13 dollars. and it has 100 capsules. it does not make sense to take all the capsules, just to get rid of them. however, it does make sense to use them for a while, and look for patterns.

the bottle says do not take them for over one week without talking to a doctor. thus, i took a couple days off, and did not take them for over seven consecutive days.

it seems like that would prevent developing a dependence on the laxatives. maybe. the bottle does not explicitly make that statement.

having said that, it has been such a long time since the most recent "normal" bowel movement (whatever that means), that a dependence on laxatives and normal bowel movements might be the only alternative to no dependence on laxatives and no normal bowel movements.

if it turns out the laxatives do not appear to have a positive impact, after taking them for a couple more weeks, then maybe try different techniques.

drank 5 or more daily liters of water, for over one year. allegedly, 15 daily liters causes fluid intoxication. and the ideal amount for someone my sex/height/weight/age is 2.2 liters. so i still drink way more than the ideal amount.

not only that, but i drink so much water, sometimes it feels like, besides eating, sleeping, drinking water, and trying to defecate, i have little time or energy for jack shit else.

likewise, for several years, eaten 9 or more daily servings of fruits and vegetables. total fruits and vegetables.


allegedly, eating too much fiber also causes constipation.


today, after sitting on Nordstrom's toilet for over one hour. failure. someone had the nerve to tell me "you're not allowed. do you understand?".

there were two toilets and one urinal in the mens bathroom.

the other toilet was empty.

it was a weekday, monday. @ noon. working time.

nobody was waiting for the toilet.

then he had the nerve to tell me that there is no sleeping in the bathroom.

but i was awake the whole time.

he had no alpha wave printout.

likewise neither was i snoring.

now, in addition to Food Maxx, can't go to Cafe Leila or Nordstroms.

but he did not issue a Trespass Warrant.

besides, he is not on duty whenever nordstrom is open. furthermore, he has to go for breaks and et cetera.

two years ago, some dude told me "you need to get out" of the Petco bathroom, after it was "over 30 minutes." and then i left.

then, afterward, more than once, went there and wasted way more than 30 minutes defecating.

and nobody tattled to 911, took out a civil lawsuit, called security, or raped me.

thus far.

quite frankly, it is just random. chaos. no meaning. no purpose.

usually, i get the feeling that almost everyone i have ever interacted with acts like he/she is the greatest thing since sliced bread. and has a moral right to get/do/become whatever the flying fuck he/she wants, immediately. because he/she is a Special Snowflake, characteristic of Doctor Spock parenting.

fuck that stupid ass hole.

fuck nordstroms. fuck food maxx. fuck cafe leila.
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