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chemotherapy - marfan's syndrome
"labels disable."

date of incident: 2016-12-16 19:26
crime: chemotherapy
protection Public
hideoutlibrary bathroom
psychotic phasegroggygroggy
labelannoyance, apathy, colorectal cancer, gorging, grudge, jealousy, laziness, left out, symptoms
got sick for the second time in four fucking weeks. the symptoms are not that bad. what gets on my nerves is comments from precious lil "people". extroverted ass holes.

primary caregiver for a stage four colon cancer patient on chemotherapy. read plenty of books about it. paranoid about the future.

makes me even more socially withdrawn than usual. shit.


nothing could make my stupidass "life" better. this is "As Good As it Gets". shit. (rolls eyes)

quite frankly i don't get the point of "life". maybe there is none and precious lil "people" are wrong for acting like there is one.

some ass holes' egos know no bounds shit


spring quarter, sophomore year undergrad, gained 15# in 10 weeks, gorging. menstrual cycle came 20, 20, and 19 days. short as fuck. out of fucking control. pants buttons falling off. fucking miserable.

looked @ mister redelings as role model, b/c he had the degree that i wanted. however, i failed to take into account that mister redelings is a neurotypical, cisgender, scrawny, handsome white man. even if i were to have gotten the same degree as him, it does not follow i would've gotten the same job.

one prospective employer told me that they have a lot of applications so they pick someone they are comfortable with and stick to it.

they could be "comfortable" around only people that are just like them: neuotypical, cisgender, white. and that still does not violate EEOC

hey mister redelings: fuck you!!!!!!!!!!

i trusted you when i came out to you.

not only did you violate my trust, but you had the nerve to accuse me of "lying". then when it turns out i was right, or @ least you were wrong, i don't even get a flimsy lil "i'm sorry sir".

a neutral third party should make him pay for my breast reduction surgery. apologize the fuck up. make him do 1000 community service hours @ a lgbt youth center, without social interaction. he can balance the books, be the janitor, do manual labor.

not only did he not waste as much energy telling me he was wrong, as he wrongfully wasted telling me i was wrong.

but he did not waste any energy telling me he was wrong, altogether.


a male to female transsexual from the bipolar support group claimed to have a computer science bachelors degree and still homeless.

a black dude from the autism support group claimed to have a masters in computer science. and saw him eating @ the soup kitchen.

and besides, a college chick said she would rather have a math instructor named jim than hans. and another chick agreed with her. (racism).

sometimes a class is only offered once a year, by one instructor. (fine). the rest of the time the students choose, based on any criteria.

on the other hand, what difference does it make? citizens choose presidential candidates, not necessarily based on job skills. but a voter can vote for the candidate based on race, sex, political party, or anything.


it's wierd b/c the 10th grade school psychologist had the nerve to tell me that the middle school customers bullied me b/c they were jealous i did better in school than them, & "if you work hard you can be whatever you wanna be when you grow up".

fuck that stupid bitch.

school is a business.

some dude told me he was a software engineer for 17 years. his whole division got laid off. then he went to trader joes to work one year. after that sylvan learning center. math tutor. 15 fucking dollars an hour. shit.

when i was on academic probation, went to a required seminar. the woman in charge said that you have to get a degree so you don't end up working @ the supermarket.

the software engineer, i am sure, was much smarter than that woman.

hey, ass holes!

college is a business! college earns money! college is under no obligation to only provide majors that lead to degrees. english? psychology? critical gender studies? linguistics? shit.

the whole notion of college is for everyone taken way too fucking far shit.


so maybe i should not have stressed out altogether just b/c i flunked out structural engineering. b/c even if i were to have gotten that degree then what? plenty of cisgender neurtypical applicants have the same degree. if an employer does not feel "comfortable" around me (and EEOC gender identity was not til 7 years after i would've gotten a structural engineering degree, if it took 4 years).

fuck mister redelings!!!!!!!!
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